breathing machine

well it's been a few days since I have written but not too much is going on we are still taking it day by day and hoping for the best. about the DNR I talked to my husband and we are most likely going to sign 1 when he comes home next Wednesday but we are going to specify it so that it will only be if his heart were to stop then they would let him go and not be really aggressive because in my mind he has not had many problems with his heart so if it were to stop I feel like that is his way of telling me that he is ready to go to heaven. But on a good note they are going to try and take him off his breathing machine today at 3 o'clock I am extremely nervous but at the same time super excited I just really hope that he is able to tolerate it. I am so excited that I might be able to hear his little voice for the first time today even though it will most likely be a cry I am still really excited. People ask me how I am NOT a complete mess everyday but I just say for those of you wondering this question if tomorrow were to be my last day with him I do not want to remember it being super stressed out and crying all the time I want to remember being happy with him and just loving him as much as I can. thank you For all caring and staying updated with little rayden  I will keep you updated on the breathing later today. oh yeah and I forgot physical therapy started coming by and working with rayden todaay they can'T do much but I feel it will still be helpful in the long run the earlier we start with physical therapy:) Rayden has fought so hard to be with us and I am NOT going to give up on him we will learn new things and we will work through whatever comes along our path and hope for the best.